The annual appearances of John Mulaney, who this weekend hosted “Saturday Night Live” for the third time in three seasons, have become one of the show’s more enjoyable traditions in this current era of its history. The presence of Mulaney, the former “S.N.L.” writer turned stand-up star and ubiquitous comic talisman (“Oh, Hello,” “Documentary Now!”, “Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse”), seems to help loosen up the cast members and bring out their goofiest material. And this time, he had extra help from some co-stars of his latest Netflix special, “John Mulaney & the Sack Lunch Bunch,” including Jake Gyllenhaal and this week’s musical guest, David Byrne.
But first: another opening sketch featuring “S.N.L.”’s now familiar roster of celebrity impressionists playing the Democratic presidential contenders.
The segment was set in the White House, where Vice President Pence (played by Beck Bennett) was holding a news conference to discuss preparations for a widespread outbreak of coronavirus.
Bennett explained, “Most of you know me from the sentence: ‘Even if Trump was removed, we’d still be stuck with Mike Pence.’” He added, “I have to admit, this disease has been quite a test of my faith. Just like dinosaur bones or Timothée Chalamet.”
He brought out Ben Carson (Kenan Thompson), the housing and urban development secretary. “This is something I actually do know about,” Thompson said, “and rest assured, in my expert opinion: It’s going to be bad.”
Then came the questions — not from journalists but from the Democratic nominees.
Fred Armisen, playing Mike Bloomberg, asked, “Doesn’t it seem like a good time to have a president who’s competent and capable, even if that candidate lacks charisma or the ability to connect with human beings?”
Alongside him sprung up Kate McKinnon, as Elizabeth Warren, explaining to Armisen that she would never stop tormenting him. “It’s my job now,” she said. “I follow you around, make your life a living hell. I might be fifth in the polls but I’m number one in your nightmares.”
In the absence of either Woody Harrelson or Jason Sudeikis, the role of former Vice President Joe Biden was played tonight by Mulaney, who boasted, “Guess who just kicked butt in South Cracker Barrel?” He added, “If we want to fight China Cough, we’ve got to be smart. We’ve got to make sure to get new teeth daily.” He also shared what he said was “an honest-to-goodness true story based loosely on fake events” in which he and Nelson Mandela “were palling around South Africa, ‘Green Book’-style.”
Larry David as returned as Bernie Sanders, who happily told the audience, “You’ve got to admit, folks — universal health care doesn’t sound too crazy now, does it?” He seemed delighted by the many precautions imposed by a public health crisis: “Nobody wants to come near me, much less touch me. I’m in heaven.”
Colin Jost played Pete Buttigieg (“I’m a candidate, too, for the next three days”) and Rachel Dratch appeared as Amy Klobuchar, his Midwest rival (“I’m from Minnesota so I will cut you — in line, at Target.”)
McKinnon continued to rattle off negative details about Armisen: “He invented traffic,” she said. “He was responsible for McDonald’s serving spaghetti. He wrote and directed the movie ‘Cats.’”
Meanwhile, David discouraged people from relying on hand sanitizer. “Just use good old fashioned bar soap and scalding hot water,” he said. “Now, I might get in trouble for saying this, but you know who was great at washing his hands? Joseph Stalin.”
Opening Monologue of the Week
In his monologue, Mulaney freely admitted that he had no new projects to plug (“I have nothing coming up — I’m here to promote the month of March”) and instead used the time to tell jokes on a variety of topics.
He complained about the Founding Fathers and their strange prioritizing of the Bill of Rights: “I was in my apartment and the buzzer rang and it was the 101st Airborne,” Mulaney said. “And they said, ‘Permission to live in your house.’ And I went, ‘Third Amendment.’” He also told an awkward joke about Julius Caesar, whom he credited for adding a leap year to the calendar. “Another thing that happened under Julius Caesar was, he was such a powerful maniac that all the senators grabbed knives and they stabbed him to death,” Mulaney said. “That would be an interesting thing if we brought that back now. I asked my lawyer if I could make that joke and he said, let me call another lawyer and that lawyer said yes.”
Musical Montage of the Week
In his first outing as an “S.N.L.” host, Mulaney resurrected a long dormant musical parody, “Diner Lobster,” and helped make it a viral sensation. Last year, he followed that up with “Bodega Bathroom.” And for his three-peat, there’s … whatever the heck this sketch is, about a man (Pete Davidson) trying to buy questionable sushi from a vendor (Mulaney) at La Guardia Airport.
As is tradition, Davidson’s problematic act triggers all kinds of sendups of Broadway musicals, including Thompson as the Phantom of La Guardia and a passenger played Gyllenhaal, wearing pajamas and levitating with the help of a harness, as he sings a song set to “Defying Gravity” about how much he loves airport security.
Weekend Update Jokes of the Week
Over at the Weekend Update desk, the anchors Colin Jost and Michael Che continued to riff on the Trump administration’s response to the coronavirus outbreak.
Jost:
President Trump held a press conference today to educate the public about the coronavirus. But I’m not sure it worked, because according to a new survey, 38 percent of Americans say they won’t drink Corona beer because it sounds like coronavirus. While the rest won’t drink it because it tastes like syphilis. Donald Trump is the worst person to possibly ease people’s fears. Trump’s whole thing is that he whips arenas into a frenzy of anger and bloodlust. Hoping Trump can calm people down is liking hoping cocaine can fight insomnia. And I don’t really trust Trump on medical issues because, remember, this is what he had to say about Ebola. [Plays clip of President Trump saying, “Ebola, you disintegrated. You got Ebola, that was it.”] You disintegrated? Does he think that Thanos was named Ebola? Then on his way to a rally where he would meet with thousands of untested people in an enclosed space, Trump explained his plan like this: [Plays clip of President Trump saying, “We’re ordering a lot of different elements of medical. As you know, they’re working as rapidly as they can on a vaccine for the future. And with that, I think I can head out.”] You think you can head out? I’m not sure because you didn’t tell us anything. He said, “We’re ordering different elements of medical.” Which I guarantee you he thinks is fire, earth, wind and water. And now scientists estimate that the mortality rate from the coronavirus is around two percent. Which sounds pretty bad, but honestly if you had given me only a two percent chance of dying in Trump’s first term, I would have taken that in a heartbeat.
Che:
Man, I don’t want to make jokes about this coronavirus. And not because it’s too sad, but because I don’t know that I don’t have it yet. And if I do have it, the internet is going to play this clip of me, making fun of it, over and over again. As they should, because that’d be hilarious. Imagine if there was video of the Crocodile Hunter making fun of stingrays? I mean, what if this is it? This is not how I want to be remembered. Sitting here, pretending that I care about politics. Wearing this fancy tie. I don’t need this. Why am I hiding my drinking problem? You know I just found out I might have a kid?
Weekend Update Deskside Segment of the Week
Appearing as himself, Chris Redd lamented that this had perhaps not been the most successful Black History Month, since it had been overshadowed by more pressing news developments, like the emergence of the coronavirus.
“I know people that wear protective masks that don’t wear condoms, and that’s wild to me,” he said.
Looking at the narrowing field of Democratic presidential hopefuls, Redd said, “Kamala gone. Cory Booker gone. Which means me in debate sketches gone.” He looked at recent controversies, like a Visa debit card bearing the illustration of Harriet Tubman making a “Wakanda Forever” salute (“It looks like she got recaptured,” he said. “She didn’t see ‘Black Panther,’ Wakanda’s not real”) and a canceled plan by Barnes & Noble to publish classic novels with new covers emphasizing people of color. (“Black Frankenstein looking like a SoundCloud rapper that got beat by the police,” he said.)
Redd asked if Black History Month could get a do-over later this year. “I know March is women’s month so we’ll take April and we’ll start on the 2nd,” he said. When Jost asked him why it wouldn’t start on April 1, Redd replied, “Nah, y’all keep that day, boy. April Fools’ is how y’all got us over here in the first place. ‘It’s just a cruise, hop on.’”
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