Never doubt the strategic brilliance of Netflix. Just as Daniel Craig’s farewell to Bond, No Time to Die, refocused attention on the cinema, so the streamer has launched a film remarkable enough to drag it back to the small screen. Newly released into millions of homes, Diana: The Musical is that film, a loud and improbably awful tribute to the late princess — and already a social media sensation, the cause of collective bogglement.
Fate tried to spare us. The project began as a Broadway musical, at least technically. Yet after previews began in March 2020, Covid saw it shut down without an opening night. Regardless, Netflix committed to this recorded version, shot last summer in a deserted Longacre Theatre in New York. Lines built for audience uproar (“Camilla! I didn’t realise you’d be here!”) now tumble into the empty dark. The songs — credited to David Bryan, keyboardist of Bon Jovi — crescendo to jazz-hand bombast, met by perfect silence. The effect is mad and purgatorial, like watching the entertainment on a Caribbean cruise turned ghost ship.
You may come to think fondly of the silences. Between them is a wildly crass retelling of a familiar story, a fat patty of pure schlock. The heroine is played by Jeanna de Waal, her pluck as a performer never in question, whatever else might be. Cue the usual Dianas: artless teen; ménage à trois third wheel; avenger in couture; modern-day saint. Camilla Parker Bowles (Erin Davie) is Machiavellian; Roe Hartrampf’s Charles transatlantic. (“You’ve had your goddamn fun!”). The Windsors have suffered worse press. The most unhappy real-life subject is likely to be butler Paul Burrell, rendered by Bruce Dow as a dead ringer for former presidential adviser Steve Bannon.
But the show is stolen by the lyrics, writer Joe DiPietro uncowed by snobbery. “Hold on to your hats, these cats are gonna fight,” the chorus whoops as Diana circles Camilla. Elsewhere — profundity. “Love evolves and bends,” we are told, a line that becomes a refrain, confident in capturing an epic human truth. Sorry — bends?
Springtime for Hitler is the obvious comparison. Mel Brooks had better tunes. The real winners will be Netflix. Much as my opening was an attempt at humour, the film does speak to changed times in entertainment. Once, a studio would have been embarrassed by Diana. Now, it exists in a market where like, hopeful posts on Instagram, the hard part is simply getting noticed. In that, how could it not be called a triumph?
★☆☆☆☆
On Netflix now
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October 06, 2021 at 06:59PM
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Diana: The Musical — a wildly crass patty of pure schlock - Financial Times
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